God's Gifts

In Romans 11:29, God’s Word says His gifts and calling are without repentance. He wants everyone to be in His kingdom. When we answer his call, then we can receive His gifts.

What are the gifts of the Spirit? They are wisdom, knowledge, faith, healing, prophecy, discerning spirits, tongues and interpretation.

Those kinds of gifts are not for me. Why not? God is no respecter of persons. God will equip you if he has truly given you that gift. We are all the same under the blood. His Word says to seek the best gifts. He doesn’t say that they will be wrapped in pink and blue packages. His plan for your life is specifically for you. It is still your choice whether you participate in His plan or not. But, His perfect plan will come to fruition with or without you.

To truly participate in His plan, you must accept the gifts that are meant for you; even if it is the equivalent of an awful handknit sweater from Great Aunt Vondola. You must learn to appreciate it and use it. His gifts are not necessarily what we want. They are meant for our good and the good of the church, not for our comfort. They are meant to be tools to do the work of the kingdom.

Some people have misconceptions that the gifts of God will all be wonderful, glamorous or something that we desire. Some people are appalled to learn otherwise. They try to give them back.

I’m not worthy. No, you’re not. I’m not strong enough. I am made perfect in weakness. It’s impossible. All things are possible with Christ. I don’t want to! Too bad! God’s gifts and calling are without repentance. They are still yours.

But aren’t women to be silent in church. If you are whining, gossiping, backbiting and interrupting, YES. If you are called, anointed and submitted, NO.

What we need to realize is that God will use ANY willing, orderly vessel. He said that if we are not obedient in praise that inanimate rocks will cry out in our place. What will happen if we are not obedient in accepting and using our gifts? Glory will be misdirected. Souls will be lost; our own included. Especially if we use what we think will get us by. Depart from me. I never knew you.

But how do I know what my gifts are? You mean I am getting more than one? It is plural gifts and singular calling. The calling is to His kingdom. The gifts are the tools to save you and all who come in contact with you.

Read the Word. Pray. Listen to the still, small voice.

Really? Yes, really. This is not a game. This a Heaven or Hell issue. If you know to do good and do it not; it is sin.

Sin will kill you and all who come in contact with you. The only thing that will save you and all who come in contact with you is obedience.

Will you stumble? Yes. Will you fall short? We all do. Are we still redeemable? Yes. We will be redeemed if we are sold out to God and seeking to please Him by using what tools He has given us.

Is it worth it? Even when you don’t feel like it?

Well done, thou good and faithful servant.

Ellen Conn Taylor
November 2012

More new stuff . . .

finally got these up on Ravelry!  Also available here.

Two Years Today

I love you Daddy.

XO,

E

Deny HIM . . .

nothing and HE will deny you nothing!!  GOD is soooooo good!

Why?

One of my classmates from high school passed away on Friday 2/24/12.  She was a reformed addict and had been clean for a long time but had been unable to kick alcohol.  She died of cirrhosis of the liver.

Some of my other classmates proposed to meet up at the local bar to celebrate her life.

Doesn't it seem a bit ironic that they would celebrate her life over what killed her?

Check me out . . .

on Ravelry and Craftsy!  My Jellyfish Ruffle Cowl is ready for purchase.

You can also check out my design blog, Class C Treasures.

Let me know what you think!

Thank you Sis. Leaman!

Do you have INHERENT POWER?

We all have inherent power. It is how we choose to use that power for which we are remembered.


Sister Regina asked what virtue was in a married ladies lunch. I remembered that Jesus said that virtue had left him when the woman with the issue of blood touched him. It must be something tangible; something that is felt. It is that power and value that God breathed into us when he gave us life.

Let’s look at how Biblical women choose to use their power.

Sarai used her power to influence her husband to get what she thought she wanted. When she gave Hagar to Abram, Hagar’s view of Sarai changed. Sarai forever hated the son of her handmaid.

Hannah desperately wanted a child. She could have hated Peninnah and been jealous but it wasn’t recorded that way. She poured her heart to God and was rewarded not only with the continued devotion of her husband but with a son.

The Samaritan woman at the well didn’t know Jesus. How do you think she felt when Jesus asked her to bring her husband forward? She left and told the city of the Messiah.

Mary sought Jesus out. She gave him all that she had. The disciples scoffed at the waste but Jesus gave her an eternal memorial.

What happens when we use that power outside of the framework of God? What about in his perfect will?

Lemuel’s mother said that a virtuous woman’s price is far above rubies. Why?; because it costs us our flesh to live that way. Most women won’t pay that price.

How do we begin to pay that price? We have an encounter with Jesus. We choose to repent of what we know at that time to be wicked. We choose to continue to follow HIM and continue to change our wicked ways as we learn of them. We ask for forgiveness and mean it. We forgive ourselves and mean it.

What happens when we choose not to pay the price? We left out of God’s family and disinherited. We lead others astray instead of to HIM. We live in torture; both here on Earth and forever.

My boss thinks that God made a mistake giving us free will. I don’t agree. It is how we are tried and proven as gold. It is our chance to inherit HIS power.

Giveaways in JULY . . .

Visit Randi's blog on Thursdays.

Here is today's giveaway.

See I Have to Say in my favorite blogs list.

What God took away . . .

but only physically.

Here is the link to Daddy's eternal tribute.

http://hosting-tributes-23291.tributes.com/show/Maurice-Conn-89698043

I love you Daddy.

XO,

E

What God gave me. . .

Flesh and all that goes with it are temporary things. It is illustrated in Ecclesiastes this way:

• To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
• A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
• A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
• A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
• A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
• A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
• A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
• A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

We as humans are here for an appointed time and then our physical being is no longer useful. Flesh is that way for each and every person, even Jesus Christ.

The spirit is not that way. It lives on in a laugh, a sideways glance or the Holy Ghost. This spirit can be passed on. It is the legacy that is remembered and felt in our hearts.

We all have our own personal remembrances of my Father. We will each carry those in our hearts until our bodies are no more.

One thing we can all agree on was Daddy’s love for others. It was out of this love that he chose to keep his illness quiet until he knew that it would overcome his flesh. That love was not unrequited. It was returned more that he could have ever imagined here on earth. And for that our family thanks you.

Out of his love for humankind, Jesus chose to die on the cross. When Jesus said “It is finished and gave up the ghost” in John 19:30, he really said “The work of my flesh is complete. Here is my spirit to comfort you.” Earlier in the book of John, Jesus identified the Holy Ghost, His Spirit, as the Comforter that would live in us.

During Daddy’s last days, he said to my Mom, “Don’t forget”. I believe what he meant was “God’s work in my flesh is complete. Here is my spirit to comfort you.”

Please pray with me –

Lord Jesus, thank you for bringing our family and friends here safely today. Thank you for the Spirit you said would be our comfort in time of loss.

We celebrate the life of Maurice Conn and honor his memory and legacy. We return to you his ashes and thank you for his touch in each of our lives.

We ask that you continue to watch over our lives and return us safely to our homes.

In the precious name of Jesus we pray. AMEN

Ellen Conn Taylor April, 2011

Have you ever . . .

had that feeling of panic when someone asked you to speak at an important function?

My Mom asked me to say the prayer for Daddy's funeral. Mom doesn't go to church and doesn't believe what I believe.

I prayed about what to say and nothing came. I kept praying and still nothing. I was at a ladies' retreat and part of the message came. During a service in my church, the message came flowing including what had been given at the ladies' retreat. I was writing furiously during the alter call. Sister Leaman came to me and asked if I was alright. I told her what was going on and continued to write. Later, I gave her the prayer to read. She said not to change a thing. So I emailed it to Mom.

I waited. I knew she was busy so I waited some more. About 10 days went by and I hadn't heard a thing. So I called her. She said "I've read it through 4 times and cried every time." She only had one small change.

So I tried saying it out loud before a test audience. The Monday night prayer group cried with me and said not to change a thing. One of my friends heard it over the phone and said not to change a thing.

One of the ladies that hasn't attended long thanked me for sharing it because she too had recently lost a loved one.

The Thursday before Daddy's interment, my prayer request was that this prayer reach someone at his service.

My aunts, sisters and several of my parents' friends all thanked me for what I shared and said that really helped them.

I just realized that my prayer request had already been answered before I even made it.

God is still good even if we don't like our situation. Situations and circumstances do not make HIM less worthy.

Strangely quiet . . .

It has been a really hard year or so.

At the beginning of 2009, our oldest daughter had a very large terratoma removed from her abdomen. Thank God it was a benign cyst. Following that she had a seizure. It had been several years since she had had one.

I had a kidney stone attack a week after my daughter's surgery.

God found me a temporary job. It turned into a very enjoyable permanent one.

The doctors ordered blood tests that turned out to be twice the high limit for indicators of Crohn's Disease.

We took what turned out to be our last Conn family vacation to Cape Cod. I really didn't enjoy the trip because I felt horrible. My father had a hernia at the time and really didn't feel well either.

At the end of 2009, the diagnosis of Crohn's Disease was made official by visual confirmation. Between Christmas 2009 and Easter 2010, I was in the hospital 5 times culminating in a bowel resection. Following surgery I weighed 96 pounds and was 7 handknit sweaters warmer.

I still had a job but due to the economy, hours were reduced. I was just lucky to still have one at all.

By the fall of 2010, I had gained back 70 pounds and have since taken off about 10 of those. The doctor said to wait till my weight plateaued and then start to lose. Something that is not quite as easy as it used to be. Being over 40 has some challenges of its own.

You would think that would be enough to keep me quiet on its own but God thought I could handle more.

In August, my husband's grandmother died.

In September, my mother-in law's second husband died. She had just lost her Mom.

After my surgery in 2010, my brother bought a new house in California. In September, my parents decided that we should all help with the beautification. They sent us girls to see what we could do to help. During the beautification process, we discovered mold. Not just a little but large, tree like mold growing in the walls. we ripped out walls in the kitchen and living room. We also took out the ceiling in the living room, dining room and kitchen. Lifted up and discarded about 4 layers of linoleum and some ceramic tile. We really didn't beautify anything. But we did leave him with new drywall on the ceilings and enough piles of drywall to finish the walls we had destroyed.

While we were all together, my parents told us that our father had terminal bone cancer and had 6-12 months left. It was their intent to come to California also but Daddy was too sick already. We talked about a rotating visiting schedule to help Mom care for him. We were all able to see him and spend time with him before he passed on November 1, 2010. This was all in a fast forwarded 8 weeks.

My immediate family survived our first grandpa-less Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Just this past Saturday, we attended the last interment of ashes.

I am ready for something uplifting.

My siblings . . .

are quite talented. My sister, Susannah, has recorded a CD that debuts on June 5. My sister, Sara, designed the cover for the CD. My brother, Nate, played and sang with Susannah on the CD.

I am very proud of all of them. Take a look and listen at the top of my blog.

I'd love to hear what you think.

How can he say well done . . .

if you don't DO ANYTHING for HIM?

Twice . . .

God must have wanted me to learn something today. This was preached in church this afternoon and when I looked at Shepherd Hill, Brother Paul Burrell spoke on it also. ********************************** Scripture Text – June 12-2010 Numbers 13 1And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, 2Send thou men, that they may search the land of Canaan, which I give unto the children of Israel: of every tribe of their fathers shall ye send a man, every one a ruler among them. 3And Moses by the commandment of the LORD sent them from the wilderness of Paran: all those men were heads of the children of Israel. 18And see the land, what it is, and the people that dwelleth therein, whether they be strong or weak, few or many; 19And what the land is that they dwell in, whether it be good or bad; and what cities they be that they dwell in, whether in tents, or in strong holds; 20And what the land is, whether it be fat or lean, whether there be wood therein, or not. And be ye of good courage, and bring of the fruit of the land. Now the time was the time of the firstripe grapes. 23And they came unto the brook of Eshcol, and cut down from thence a branch with one cluster of grapes, and they bare it between two upon a staff; and they brought of the pomegranates, and of the figs. 24The place was called the brook Eshcol, because of the cluster of grapes which the children of Israel cut down from thence. 25And they returned from searching of the land after forty days. 26And they went and came to Moses, and to Aaron, and to all the congregation of the children of Israel, unto the wilderness of Paran, to Kadesh; and brought back word unto them, and unto all the congregation, and shewed them the fruit of the land. 27And they told him, and said, We came unto the land whither thou sentest us, and surely it floweth with milk and honey; and this is the fruit of it. 28Nevertheless the people be strong that dwell in the land, and the cities are walled, and very great: and moreover we saw the children of Anak there. 30And Caleb stilled the people before Moses, and said, Let us go up at once, and possess it; for we are well able to overcome it. 31But the men that went up with him said, We be not able to go up against the people; for they are stronger than we. 32And they brought up an evil report of the land which they had searched unto the children of Israel, saying, The land, through which we have gone to search it, is a land that eateth up the inhabitants thereof; and all the people that we saw in it are men of a great stature. 33And there we saw the giants, the sons of Anak, which come of the giants: and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight. Numbers 14 1And all the congregation lifted up their voice, and cried; and the people wept that night. 2And all the children of Israel murmured against Moses and against Aaron: and the whole congregation said unto them, Would God that we had died in the land of Egypt! or would God we had died in this wilderness! 3And wherefore hath the LORD brought us unto this land, to fall by the sword, that our wives and our children should be a prey? were it not better for us to return into Egypt? 4And they said one to another, Let us make a captain, and let us return into Egypt. 5Then Moses and Aaron fell on their faces before all the assembly of the congregation of the children of Israel. 6And Joshua the son of Nun, and Caleb the son of Jephunneh, which were of them that searched the land, rent their clothes: 7And they spake unto all the company of the children of Israel, saying, The land, which we passed through to search it, is an exceeding good land. 8If the LORD delight in us, then he will bring us into this land, and give it us; a land which floweth with milk and honey. 9Only rebel not ye against the LORD, neither fear ye the people of the land; for they are bread for us: their defence is departed from them, and the LORD is with us: fear them not. 10But all the congregation bade stone them with stones. And the glory of the LORD appeared in the tabernacle of the congregation before all the children of Israel. 11And the LORD said unto Moses, How long will this people provoke me? and how long will it be ere they believe me, for all the signs which I have shewed among them? 12I will smite them with the pestilence, and disinherit them, and will make of thee a greater nation and mightier than they. 13And Moses said unto the LORD, Then the Egyptians shall hear it, (for thou broughtest up this people in thy might from among them;) 14And they will tell it to the inhabitants of this land: for they have heard that thou LORD art among this people, that thou LORD art seen face to face, and that thy cloud standeth over them, and that thou goest before them, by day time in a pillar of a cloud, and in a pillar of fire by night. 15Now if thou shalt kill all this people as one man, then the nations which have heard the fame of thee will speak, saying, 16Because the LORD was not able to bring this people into the land which he sware unto them, therefore he hath slain them in the wilderness. 17And now, I beseech thee, let the power of my lord be great, according as thou hast spoken, saying, 18The LORD is longsuffering, and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression, and by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation. 19Pardon, I beseech thee, the iniquity of this people according unto the greatness of thy mercy, and as thou hast forgiven this people, from Egypt even until now. 20And the LORD said, I have pardoned according to thy word: 21But as truly as I live, all the earth shall be filled with the glory of the LORD. 22Because all those men which have seen my glory, and my miracles, which I did in Egypt and in the wilderness, and have tempted me now these ten times, and have not hearkened to my voice; 23Surely they shall not see the land which I sware unto their fathers, neither shall any of them that provoked me see it: 24But my servant Caleb, because he had another spirit with him, and hath followed me fully, him will I bring into the land whereinto he went; and his seed shall possess it.

Yes, it’s good. But.. Hello to all in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ. We are glad that you paused today to meditate on God’s Word. God promised that His Word would never return to Him void but would accomplish His will. I pray that the passages I present to you this week would move you into His will and purpose. This week we are looking at the Promised Land and what the scripture teaches about the passage over to possess it. Our reference is Numbers chapter 13 and 14. In the first verse of chapter 13 the Lord told Moses to send spies out to look at the land of Canaan to view it. Then the following verses tell of the men that went and what tribe they represented. I think it’s very interesting when you consider the whole story of God delivering His people from slavery and what He delivered them from and to. Anytime a person is delivered from something he is also delivered to something. This great lesson in history is repeated over and over again in men’s lives on a smaller scale. First, they were in slavery for 400 years. Their entire culture was molded by others who told them what to do and when to do it. They had no freedom for their own wishes or dreams in life. Their lives were for someone else’s desires and not for their own. You would think that anyone would want to get out of a life like this. And yet, even today we see people who have a way out of bondage and stay where they are. Let me elaborate. There are those in our society today who choose to stay imprisoned. If you go to the correctional facility in your area you will meet people who are repeat offenders. They don’t learn from their first poor choices and do some other crime to go right back in. Perhaps you even know someone who is like that. Our family does. We know several people who can’t seem to break lifestyles and they choose to make mistakes with crimes, knowing that they will end up back in prison. It doesn’t make sense to those of us on the outside. The truth is that it takes courage to live on the outside. With freedom comes responsibility. Responsibility takes courage to continue. We make choices to do whatever we want in doing or even not doing something. When completing a task, we decide when something is “good enough” or if we need to work harder to finish it. Let’s take education as an example. People choose to educate themselves in whatever matter they desire. It seems that if someone starts to study the Bible they never keep going. A lot of people make excuses saying, “I can’t memorize that. It’s too hard for me.” And yet they know a lot about un-important things because that is what they focus on. If you look at the newsstand in the grocery store you’ll see stories about movie stars having affairs, rich people and what they’ve bought, the latest dress styles and other menial items. None of this is important to a person’s life or the happiness he or she could have. Another thing we could spend time on would be television shows including soap operas, sporting events and entertainment amusements. I am saddened at how many Christians know who the American Idol is but don’t know the Ten Commandments. We decide that a once a week service where a preacher talks for 30 minutes is enough Bible study for us. And then when our lives fall apart we don’t understand it. We really choose what is important to us and allow ourselves to live a life in the prison of sin, don’t we? Instead of following the Word, we choose what the world dictates. Instead of living in responsibility, we choose irresponsibility in our actions. The Children of Israel, of course, were in bondage and could not get out of it. But history shows that their minds were still in bondage with a slavery mentality long after their bodies were emancipated. There are many accounts of prisoners of war who, even though they had to suffer until their freedom was won, did not give in to a slavery mentality. When they came out of the prison camps they lived lives that were worthy of the battles fought. Their wills were never broken. Their minds remained on the outside. I hope you are following me on this because there is deep spiritual truth here. We all have a way out of the pit. His name is Jesus! He will deliver us as The Lord lead the Nation of Israel out of Egypt. That “slavery mentality” is one that prisoners can have, even after they get out. Someone can be so engrained with the idea of being a slave that they continue, generations after the fact, to whine about how they are mistreated. Nothing is ever their fault. They want special treatment and demand that justice take place. They overlook the fact that they are out of bondage and are getting out of life exactly what they put into it. The Nation of Israel was just like that. Getting back to our story, the twelve tribes each had a representative to spy out the land. You will notice that the Lord never told Moses to send men to see if it could be done. He sent them on a trip that was designed to be a trip of encouragement. He was showing His promise to them and His goodness. God always tests us when we are about to be blessed. But the test is not for His sake; it’s for ours. Of the twelve spies that went in, only two saw the goodness of God. Only two saw the possibilities and remembered that God had been faithful in every need. Only two had overcome the slavery mentality. What made the difference? What was it about these men that caused them to believe? There is a clue hidden in chapter 13. Look in verse 23. It states that they cut down a single cluster of grapes and that it took two men to carry it out. I have said many times that there is never any information in God’s Holy Word that is un-important. There are no trivial details that are there for filler. In this case, the Spirit is showing us something. Who do you think the two men were? No, really! Which two men carried the cluster of grapes? I believe that it was Joshua and Caleb! I think that they looked more on the benefits of overcoming giants in the land than they did the risks. Can you imagine having a giant cluster of grapes swinging in front of you? On the other hand, what about sneaking around in fear that around every corner was a giant ready to attack? If you spend more time looking at what it might cost as opposed to what would be gained you are still living as a slave. You, dear friend, are still in bondage. Look at verse 27 and 28. Their report was “yes it is good, but…”. God’s plan for you life is always for good. The path that gets you there has challenges, risks and unknown elements. But He walks with you on every step. In verse 30 Caleb stood against the majority and declared that they could overcome the enemy through God’s power. Do you see yourself on the side of the majority or the minority? Does your life resound of the faith that you have in The Lord or does it show doubt? Friend, people are watching your life just like a story. They see what you really believe by how you live. In chapter 14 the majority begins to whine. They actually begin to talk about returning to Egypt and the slavery that was there. It’s hard to imagine such foolishness when you read the story as a third party. But we all live one way or the other. Our lives could well be written for others to learn by. We can be one of the spies that no one remembers the name of or we can be Joshua and Caleb. What will make the difference in you and me? How can our faith be built up so that we can take possession of God’s promises? Go back to that thought of carrying the grapes. If God has shown you what He has for you; if He has been faithful in your past and you know that He always came through, then begin doing the work to take what He says is yours. I like a story that was told a few weeks back about two farmers and faith. Two farmers went to the Lord during a spring drought and prayed for rain. One went ahead and plowed his field and planted the seed and the other one waited. Which one had faith? Of course it was the first one. James tells us that faith without works is dead. If we really believe God on a matter, we will do anything that it takes to succeed. I get so irritated at the Israelites and how they whined before God. But, at times God reminds me that I have done that, too. I have told God in past times that it was too hard and that I shouldn’t have come this way or made that decision. The example is recorded here for all time to show that God wants people who are willing to not give up just because they are in need. He never promised us room service! Just think how much better it would have been to have read that they were out of water and they humbly ask the Lord to provide their needs. They would have been the ones to enter the Promised Land. In chapter 14 God declares that this generation would not inherit the promise. It would their children who would possess it. Of course, you know the story. Joshua led these people into Canaan. So what is here for us to learn today? We all have been in bondage. We were born in sin and only the Blood of Jesus will deliver us. Once out of bondage, it’s possible to still not have your mind renewed (Romans 12:2) and to live as if you were still a slave. In other words, you can be a repeat offender who habitually goes back to the life you should be delivered from. You will not receive the promises of God if you don’t believe that He will take you to them. If you look at the giants and not the grapes you will surely loose out. Only through pushing ahead will you overcome. This is no place for cowards! So where are you today? When there is a need in your life do you whine that you’ve been mistreated? Do you wish that you were back where you came from? Or do you humbly ask God to give you the strength and provision and faithfully wait on Him to answer? Today I am asking you to compare your life with the spies of Israel. You will be like the ten or the two; it’s up to you! You have the same opportunities as every other person in God’s sight. He is no respecter of persons. Keep your shoulder to the staff and don’t trip over the grapes! Prayer-Father God, I humbly ask that today someone who has never trusted fully in You would have their eyes opened. I pray that we all would see where we come short of having complete faith in Your plan and the unknown areas of our lives. As we have needs, let us be able to remember times when You took care of us. Help us to live a life worthy of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It’s in that name that I ask this-Amen

Made me think

Crucified with Christ

"I am CRUCIFIED with Christ..."

"For THY SAKE we are KILLED all the day long...."

"For we which live are alway delivered unto DEATH for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be MANIFEST in our mortal flesh."

"For if we be DEAD with him we shall also live with him."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

A DEAD PERSON DOESN'T HURT ANYMORE!

So maybe I'm not fully "dead" yet...?

Sometimes I get my feelings hurt...

*********************************************************

Find more like this here.

Check out the NEW . . .

Sensibility website. The proprietress, Jennie Chancey, has completely redesigned her lovely website.

It is so easy to navigate and is a wonderful showcase for her patterns and show and tell photos from her devoted followers.

Please use the button at the top of my blog to visit her fabulous new site.

Leave me a comment after you take a peek. I'd love to hear what you think.

SALE!!!!

Randi has the best fabric choices on Etsy! AND THERE IS A SALE!!!!! Check it out here.

Are you sincere? . . .

Paul Burrell, Shepherd's Hill

Apologies and Repentance

Welcome to the message of the week from Shepherds Hill. As it often happened, God gave a clear message for the week in a brief moment of inspiration. This week has been trying as I am still fighting the cold virus going around. I was well enough to return to work but it took great effort to do my job.

This week, while listening to a conversation between two people I heard something remarkable. There was an issue between the two and as he had always done, one of them apologized to the other. It was a scene that didn’t particularly strike me as unusual in any way. I have often had to apologize to someone for something I had done wrong. But the response from the other person absolutely astounded me. They told the first person that if the issue was small enough to be fixed with an apology it would have been too small to even bring up.

It was as if the planet came to a screeching halt! I jumped up from my chair to find something to write on before the thought escaped me. No one even knew what was going on in my head but I realized that some great key had just been put in my lap. I began to ponder the point. In my mind I went back through time at all of the issues between Angie and myself. Over and over again there had been an offense and an apology, Many times it had been the same issue and the apology sufficed for the moment. But in reality it simply covered up the horrible mess at hand. It was as if there was a sink full of dirty dishes and when company arrived I threw a towel over it so that it couldn’t be seen.

I really started thinking about relationships and the way we handle confrontations. Generally, some offense occurs and the offended party brings it up to the offender. The second party often doesn’t see the problem but ends up making apologies for the action. It smoothes things over for the time and both people may think it’s taken care of. Let me use an example, if I may. Suppose a husband has a problem flirting with other women. He doesn’t think a thing about it and if his wife confronts him about it he views it as harmless fun. It may, in fact, be something that breaks her heart but to him it’s just playing around with the women at his job. In their discussion he discovers that she does not want it to happen. He may apologize but in fact may just keep doing the same thing and keeping it private.

We often are very sorry for getting caught and not sorry for our actions. The prisons are full of repeat offenders who were sorry that they were arrested but not sorry for breaking the law. In relationships we also may be sorry for getting caught but are not sorry for breaking our partner’s heart. That really is the issue here-the heart. As in the conversation I overheard-the person who brought up the issue was bothered so badly that it broke their heart and the issue warranted the conversation.

Dealing with someone over and over again becomes an exercise in futility doesn’t it? When our child breaks a known rule of our household we must deal with it. If they apologize we often assume they are really sorry for their actions. But repeat offenders show what is in their hearts. They desire to continue the action while trying to better cover the evidence. They try really hard to put more emphasis on doing the same thing in secret.

In honesty, Angie and I have the best marriage of anyone that I know. I don’t say that out of pride or because I am deceiving myself. I can honestly say that because I put my marriage above every other relationship apart from my own with God. I will side with her above family, neighbors, friends and co-workers. No one will come between us. In that same thought, I must also put her above my own wishes and wants. She must come first in all my decisions. This is what husbands loving their wives means.

If we discuss something that bothers either one of us we will end up with an apology. But the “I’m sorry” must be backed up with a sincere desire to change whatever caused the problem in the beginning.

At this point you may remind me about how Jesus talked about repeatedly forgiving someone. Remember the seventy times seven scripture? In Matthew 18:22 Jesus told Peter to forgive his brother not just seven times but seventy times seven. Anyone that can multiply knows that this is four-hundred and ninety times. Think about it-if you forgave someone and kept track of it up to that point you would not actually be forgiving them. Would you remind them that they only had five more times to commit the offence? Of course not. While forgiving someone is really important my message is on the other side today.

John the Baptist was the forerunner of Jesus. He was to pave the way to Jesus’ ministry and prepare people’s hearts for the change that was about to take place. I think it’s important to look at what he said. In Matthew chapter three we find his debut- he began to preach repentance. The word repent means to feel regret, and to turn from ones sin and dedicate their life to the amendment of it. In verses one through seven we read of people who came and changed. But in verse eight he told the Pharisees and Sadducees to produce fruit meet for repentance. It sounds like a word that we have forgotten the meaning of today.

Some people are under the impression that confessing their sins (merely admitting that they failed) is enough. I was always intrigued by basketball games where the referee would blow his whistle and point at a player. The player would in turn acknowledge his penalty by raising his hand. It did not mean that he regretted the foul but simply acknowledged that he had done it. Christians today are under the impression that simply saying you had done something is all you have to do. There is no heart change and therefore the same sin can occur again.

Think of your own life-are you a repeat offender in some sin? Is there something that you’ve been caught at over and over? On each time that it happened were you sorry that it happened? I’m sure you were at that moment but if you realized the difference you would not be repeating it. There is a difference between an apology and repentance. John told his disciples to repent.

Jesus also told us to repent. In the following chapter of Matthew Jesus went through the forty days of his testing. Immediately, His ministry began telling people to repent for the kingdom of heaven was at hand (Matt 4:17). This was the same message that John had prepared people for. It was not an apology that Jesus was speaking of. It was a true change of heart that Jesus was talking about.

We have all had someone who treated us wrong. We may have had the responsibility of forgiving them if they came to us. More often, though, we go to them and ask them to explain themselves. The offense is to be dealt with. An apology, as we normally think of, is expected. But is it true repentance?

I can relate to both sides of the issue. I have been truly sorry for my actions and apologized to someone. Then, later on I have done the exact same thing. It seems as if I slipped up. People who battle with substance abuse find themselves wishing they could get away from the desire and eventual falling back into old habits. Only when we recognize that we are hurting people may we ever have a reason to quit something.

What our Father God has called sin are things that bring us to death. Just as Adam didn’t immediately die a physical death we rarely die from an action known to be sin. The spiritual death occurred with Adam though. It’s a silent thing but we can break our relationship with God one action at a time. Some denominations call it back-sliding. Others refer to it as falling away. Whatever you want to call it the slow sliding away from God is so gradual that you may not even realize that it’s happening.

I’m wondering about you today. Perhaps you have confessed your sin, meaning that you admit that you have failed. We all have failed and none of us can say that we haven’t. What I want to ask you today is how did you handle it? If a police officer stops you for speeding do you get upset about the ticket but continue driving just as fast? Perhaps you’ve been guilty of lust. You got caught and you were sorry for the sin. Did learn anything from the action? Perhaps it is hard to tell when someone apologizes as to the person’s sincerity. They may have even asked for forgiveness over and over with you forgiving them each time. It’s possible that they really aren’t sincere. But that is up to God to deal with.

If you are the person who gave a mock SO---RRY (said with a tone) it is apparent that you really aren’t. When my children were told to apologize to their siblings they sometimes gave that SO--RRY sound. It was clear to me that they only said the word because they were made to say it. How about you friend? How has your confession of sin operated? Were you apologizing or truly repentant?

The bottom line is-sin can never be fixed with an apology.

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